All the characters and situations in the article are fictional, any coincidences are accidental. The story of how the boss’s office and the server room are at war, and how to make peace.
imagine: Friday, the end of the working day, the office is yawning in anticipation of the weekend. Suddenly, the door to the IT department opens with a bang, and the director rushes in, puffing like a kettle on the stove. “Because of you, the sales department screwed up at the exhibition! The presentation is not ready, the computers are hanging! This is your failure!” he thunders, waving his arms like a conductor at a rock concert.
Programmer Serik, looking up from the screen where he is fighting with another vulnerability, adjusts his glasses and thinks: “Seriously? Are we drawing their slides? The director himself ordered the sales staff to prepare this presentation a month ago. Are we extreme now? Oscar for originality!”
Did you recognize yourself? Then welcome to the corporate theater, where directors and IT specialists play “Who understands whom less” every day.
Why are we like a cat and a dog
The director thinks:
- “These IT guys are always messing with something and asking for a budget!”
- “They get paid like rock stars, but they can’t fix a computer!”
- “They mumble in their techno jargon and look at everyone like they’re newbies!”
- “Instead of helping businesses, they’re obstructing them!”
IT people think:
- “We’re saving the company from hackers here, and he’s yelling because of the slides!”
- “He wants everything at once, as if we were fairies with a magic wand!”
- “The salespeople delayed the presentation for a month, but are we to blame?”
- “He spares money on equipment, and then he’s surprised that everything is lagging!”
And so it is every day. The director is angry that IT is a bottomless barrel of expenses. IT specialists grit their teeth that their work is not appreciated. Is this a familiar production?
Let’s model the situation
Situation 1: “The site went down on Friday evening”
What happened:
Friday evening. The company’s website collapsed like a house of cards. The director calls Madi’s programmer every 10 minutes: “Well, have you revived? The customers are leaving!”
The director is in my head:
“Is it that hard to press the “fix” button? Why is everything breaking down?”
Madi in my head:
“The site crashed because the boss rejected the new server a year ago. Now I’m going to pick through this stuff until morning, and he’s still pushing!”
As it should have been:
The director: “Madi, I see trouble. What does it take to solve it?
Madi: “The server is old, we’re fixing what we can. The new one will save you from failures.”
And everyone drinks tea in harmony.
Situation 2: “Click on the website, by Monday!”
What happened:
The director flies in to the developers on Thursday: “Guys, we need an order button on the website. The competitors have bypassed us! Will you do it by Monday?”
The director in his head:
“The button is a small thing! Four days is a lot of time!”
The developers in my head:
“A button? It’s not like you’re screwing in a light bulb! We need to link it to the database, set up notifications, and check that nothing is broken. At least two weeks, boss!”
How it should have been:
Director: “We need customers to order faster.”
Developers: “A button is a whole system. We’ll do the simple version in a week, and the full version in three.”
A compromise has been found, and everyone is happy.
Situation 3: “Why do we need an expensive antivirus?”
What happened:
IT asks for money for a corporate antivirus. Director: “There’s a free one, don’t make it up!”
The director in his head:
“An antivirus is an antivirus. Why overpay?”
IT’s in my head:
“When hackers steal the customer base, he will be the first to shout: “Where is the protection?!””
What happened next:
A month later, a cyberattack. The system was down for two days. Losses — millions of tenge. An antivirus would be much cheaper. Math, boss!
Dictionary for the world in the office
From Director’s to IT department:
- “Urgent!” = Name the actual deadline and priority.
- “Why is it taking so long?” = Explain in a simple way what you are doing.
- “The competitors already have it!” = Show me how it works for them.
- “Users are complaining!” = Give me the numbers: how many, where, what’s broken.
From IT department’s to Director :
- “Technical debt” = Old defects that slow down the work.
- “Refactoring is needed” = It is necessary to rewrite the code so as not to suffer further.
- “Load testing” = We check whether the site can withstand the crowd of customers.
- “It’s technically impossible” = It won’t work that way, but here are three other ways.
How to stop putting each other under stress
To the Directors:
- Plan ahead. Do you want a feature for the New Year? Say September, not December 29th.
- Ask the right questions. Not “make a button”, but “how to simplify orders for customers?”.
- Don’t skimp on the essentials. It’s better to invest a million in a server than to lose ten due to a failure.
- Understand the basics. You don’t have to walk, but it’s useful to know how a website differs from an app.
For IT specialists:
- Speak the language of business. Not “let’s update the framework”, but “the old code slows down by 30%”.
- Suggest solutions. Instead of “impossible” — “option A in three days, option B in a month, but better.”
- Brag about the results. Show: “We fixed 50 bugs, the site loads 2 times faster.”
- Think about business. Your code is not a masterpiece in the gallery, it should make money.
Simple rules of survival
- A common language. The director teaches what a “backend” is, and IT specialists teach what a “ROI” is.
- Regular contact. 30 minutes a week in sync — and quarrels are less than half.
- Common goals. IT knows the company’s plans, and the director understands why the new server is needed.
- Respect. The director doesn’t yell “urgent” for no reason, IT people don’t roll their eyes at “stupid” questions.
What to do right now
If you are the director:
- Go to the IT people (with coffee, not shouting).
- Ask: “What prevents you from working?”
- Give them a budget for their ideas (at least partially).
- Set up a weekly meeting.
If you are an IT specialist:
- Make a presentation: “How we help businesses.”
- Convert technical problems into money: “Slow website = minus millions per year.”
- Offer the boss one simple solution to his main IT pain.
- Stop grumbling at “incomprehensible” users.
Let’s model the situation: How can things be better
Company: A small online store.
Problem: The site is slowing down like an old bike. The director demanded to “just speed up”, the IT people asked for a new server.
What have you done:
- IT showed that a slow website scares off a third of customers.
- We calculated: losses in millions of tenge per month, the server is cheaper.
- The director allocated a budget.
- IT overclocked the site 3 times.
Result:
Sales increased by 40%, the server paid off in a month. Now the director himself runs to IT specialists with ideas: “Let’s mess up the chatbot?”
Bottom line: peace is possible!
The war between directors and IT specialists is not fate, but misunderstanding. When you start speaking the same language, IT goes from “those who spend money” to “those who earn it.”
Take the first step. Go to the server room (or the boss’s office) and ask, “How can we work better together?” The result will surprise you. And if it doesn’t work, you can always blame the old technology.
Disclaimer: The author is not responsible for the consequences of applying the advice from this article. The material is informational and humorous in nature and is provided “as is”, without guarantees. All characters and situations are fictional, any coincidences are random. Make decisions at your own risk. Consult with experts before implementing your ideas.
